Never lie or waste time when your back's against a wall
Ever dry on a line only to get dunked when you fall?
Ever pine for a poem you can't perfectly recall?
Don't take this as a sign that I'm lonesome, not at all!
You'd be better off with any dog than a cat who caterwauls
sometimes I wish I could be a woman for her
or a man for him over there
my envy of heterosexuality, however,
is also mixed up in there
it took a while for me to figure me out
to me demi's basically ace
waiting for someone I don't even know
while I'm floating around with no tether in space!
my stony face still as cold earth
a heaving chest betrays my mirth
no laughs can be stifled for this beast
my limbic system is reactive meat
and I'm too large to hide a giggle
each snirtle corresponds to a belly wiggle!
get your lawyer, Lydia Grey
we're going for a walk today
you're a perfect bitch, you never stray
your eyes they stole my heart away
you're a great cat, you snoofer whoofer
from your nose to your mighty pooper!
— my unoffical therapist
who knew I'd fall for you like this?
even when you eat my caps
your gorgeous eyes make me collapse
prostrate and in immediate danger from
your sloppy soup spoon licky tongue
and your webbed toes like a otter's
remind me you're not not my real daughter!
So get your lawyer, take your station
never leave home without representation.
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